So, I had my MRi and CT scan.  I’ve had them all before, but this time I was scared.  Scared because the results mean a bit more this time around.  Last time it was a little more hectic.
I hadn’t got an appointment booked to see anyone after the scans, so was a little nervous how I was going to find out the results.  Eventually I phoned my Surgeon and booked in to see him Saturday 30 April 2011.  Saturday 23 April 2011 I got a phone call from my Oncologist’s Secretary asking me why I’d missed my appointment that day.  I’d not been told by phone or received a letter.  I felt gutted when I took that call because I would have known my results.  Instead I had another week to wait.  A horrible week, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking if it was bad news, surely they’d be calling me back in?
During that miserable week I ‘phoned the Radiotherapy team and Oncologist because I was in so much pain when opening my bowels.  It felt like I was passing glass. It put me off eating because I was terrified of the pain. Trips to the toilet ended in me sobbing on my bed in pain just wishing it would stop.  Nothing was helping.  Eventually the Oncologist phoned me and we went through a number of things.  She asked me about the pain and seemed surprised I was still on 50mg twice a day of MST “considering the tumour has reduced very well” – there it was, the news I’d wanted to hear, and she said it like she was commenting on the weather.  We agreed to reduced the morphine and we went through some ideas.  On the Saturday I saw my Surgeon and we went through everything, including my pain when opening my bowels.  He’s given me suppositories and ointment to use, which have worked wonders. I can now go to the loo, as long as I keep taking laxatives too.  Finally.
We discussed the tumour too and he’s chuffed to pieces with how my tumour has reacted to treatment.  It’s not gone, but it’s reduced.  Next stage is surgery.  He’s removing my tumour Thursday 26 May 2011, which is located in my rectum.  I’m expected to spend 10 days in hospital, and will have a temporary stoma/bag.  
I’m so pleased with the news, but also reserved.  I’m not sure I can believe it.  I’m scared to relax.  I’m scared to think I’m nearly through this.
Oh! and on 6th April 2011 I shaved my head finally, as it had got to a pretty naff stage.  I’m comfortable with the shaved look, just wish the people on the street would stop pointing/laughing.  I’m failing to see the humour in this.
That’s all for now folks.  I need to go buy cold packs for my backside.

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